fuck you internet split personalities.

I use the internet like you. However I have one personality, I do not have a real life personality and then an alter personality on the Internet. I am cranky and bitchy have a select handful of friends and enjoy being a laze ass in real life and on the Internet. So when I interact with people in real life I assume I am getting the REAL person. This is apparently not the case I have come to realize that people are sometimes not what they appear to be. Usually these split personalities are pleasant in the real world and major assholes on the Internet. This is not cool people. I meet you in real life and feel slightly guilty about my shitty self and vow to be a nicer human being then I find our that you are really a bigger jerk then me! Quit inspiring me then tearing me down. I especially hate jerks who use popular websites to hate on people. Fuck you have the guts to say it to my face, because if I see you I am not going to be nice and then hate on you on the Internet I am going to kick you in the face. You have been warned.

why old man why?

There is an old man who comes into my workplace and orders food. He proceeds to eat the food. The strange thing is while he lays a napkin in is lap and seems to have the knowledge of table manners he always ends up smearing his food all over his face, as a toddler would. His food goes in his mouth, but also the inch of face surrounding the mouth hole area. For this reason we have named him Mrs. Doubtfire. A character Robin Williams played who crossed dressed and once hid his hairy mug by smashing a frosted cake on his face. Well now that you have been introduced to our Mrs. Doubtfire let me tell you why I question him. I do not question his hitting on the staff with cheap floral bouquets. No that is quite ordinary. I do not question the licking of his index and thumb fingers as he rolls each dollar bill out of his money clip. While gross this is also a familiar sight. However when one of the staff started wearing her glasses to work rather than contacts he perhaps went too far. What did he do? Well the girl gives him the change due and he says," you are wearing glasses." Well she can't argue so she says,"yup." Mrs. Doubtfire then says," you look better without glasses." and walks away to enjoy his mini facial/meal. Well what did our little employee do? Nothing what can you do he is not engaging her in a debate or asking why she has started wearing glasses. He is just letting her know that well she looks better without them.  Well this in itself is not too bad. Many of us food service workers have been told our new hairstyles are unflattering, we have gained weight, etc. Customers alerting us to personal flaws we must have missed while preparing for work. What a kind service, correcting our toilette missteps. We would not want to upset delicate tum tums with our grotesque visage. Well this would have been funny and we all would have laughed and let it roll off our backs but Mrs. Doubtfire is persistent. Mrs. Doubtfire returned for a meal and when receiving his change says to the same girl, "you are wearing glasses." And our girl says, "yes" and Mrs. Doubtfire continues, "You look better without glasses." Well our girl has pity imagining Mrs.Doubtfire to be a tad senile she says,"yes, you have already told me that I look better without glasses, last week." Is that the end, oh no Mrs. Doubtfire's parting words, "well then you should do something about it then." And that is why I question Mrs. Doubtfire. What do you expect her to do cast off the bonds of her glasses to please you, what is next her blouse? Are we some unwilling participants in a beauty pageant in your mind? I wonder what talents you assign to us?